I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's like heaven, but drunker
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize