did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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