I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
