sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
