i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
