I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
