Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize