I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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