your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
