Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
