We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
