those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
