My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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