I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
