At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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