i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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