i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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