don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I still have a little drunk in my system
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
