alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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