Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
