the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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