no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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