Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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