they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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