Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
