My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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