Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
