the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
high people should be assigned attendants
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
