so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
