all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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