My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
This house was built for laser tag.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
