We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
