tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize