It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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