so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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