In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
