READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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