Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
