One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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