We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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