ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I love having hate sex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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