The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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