Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
