Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
