I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
