Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
