I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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