I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
wat bout pragnant strippers??
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
