The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
