Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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