I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
