So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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