I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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