I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
