So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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