Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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