3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
