remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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