his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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