i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
