If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
high people should be assigned attendants
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
