Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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