so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
