I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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